I Met a Pig in Miami

I don't know what I expected to find behind a coffee shop on Calle Ocho in Miami's Little Havana, but it certainly wasn't this:


This is Chuchi. No, not the girl in the dress, that's me. Chuchi is the black blob in front of the pickup truck.

Chuchi is one of the fattest pigs I have ever seen. And as an Alabama girl who grew up going to state fairs to ooh and aah over all the livestock, I'd say I've seen a decent number of pigs. I mean, I've seen BIGGER pigs, for sure, but I've never seen a pig with more rolls of lard than Chuchi. She was so fat that her stomach dragged the ground. Fat draped over her toes like queenly plush robes. Her crown of fat was so heavy that she couldn't lift her head to gaze directly at us with her beady eyes.

Chuchi was moderately friendly. She oinked when I patted her meaty, bristly noggin, which may or may not have meant that she enjoyed the pats. She half-heartedly munched on the cucumbers her owner gave her. In Spanish, her owner told us that Chuchi was very well trained, and always came out of her enclosure to poop. As evidence, she pointed to the trail of poop, previously hidden behind her ground-dragging belly, that Chuchi revealed when she took a few steps towards the cucumbers. We oohed and aahed over Chuchi's dignity and magnanimity. 

May we all be as content with our lard and meticulous with our waste disposal as Chuchi.